my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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