I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
