Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
