? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
