so that wasnt chicken after all
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
