It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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