My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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