My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
