When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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