I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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