I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize