I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
