you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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