You're completely useless in the revolution.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
