You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
