I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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