i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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