Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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