3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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