he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
