he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
