They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
