Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
