BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
