Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize