Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
