I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
