Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize