we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
