We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
