Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
