just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
