My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
