Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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