dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize