she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
