yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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