So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
