Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
