Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
