Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
A bitchslap is in order.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
