i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
