If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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