I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
