dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
