What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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