Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
