yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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