He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize