Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
