I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
jump out the window naked night went bad
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
