my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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