Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
