xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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