Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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