He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My balls are so social today.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
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