Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
