does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
