found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize