You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
