I love black thongs
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
