Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
