Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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