Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
